Outside the Conventions and Humdrum Routine of Everyday Life

Outside the Conventions and Humdrum Routine of Everyday Life

Being a Slight Monograph on Sherlock Holmes and the Doctor

Ingrained into the cultural consciousness of Britain are five fictional characters: King Arthur, Robin, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond and The Doctor. These are characters that have withstood not only the tests of time, but the impact of multiple and desperate being buffeted upon them. On the eve of Sherlock Holmes being brought back by Steve Moffat and Mark Gatiss, it is time to examine the Holmesian connection with Doctor Who.

There are many casting crossovers between Doctor Who and various Holmes productions. The most famous example of this is Tom Baker who has played both Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty in the play The Mask of Moriarty and played Holmes in Barry Letts’ production of “Hound of the Baskervilles”. Joining him in that production was Caroline John (Liz Shaw) playing Laura Lyons; she also played Mrs. Carnac in the Jeremy Brett-led “The Dying Detective”. Ian Marter (Harry Sullivan) has a bit part as Inspector Fereday in Brett’s version of “The Musgrave Ritual”. Two-time non-canonical Doctor Richard E. Grant played Mycroft Holmes and Stapleton in two separate Holmes films released in 2002. His Withnail and I costar Paul McGann played Arthur Wright in FairyTale: A True Story, a movie about Arthur Conan Doyle’s investigation of the Cottingley Fairies. And everyone’s third favorite Sherlock Holmes, Peter Cushing played the Doctor in the 60’s Dalek movies and Doyle himself in The Great Houdini.

While his influence is felt most strongly upon Jon Pertwee’s tenure as the Doctor, Holmes was in the show’s hopper from the beginning. Consider the false modesty of Holmes and the first Doctor. While both are very aware of their abilities, they will pass along credit or deny involvement in matters if they think it beneath them. They swing wildly from irritable complaining to wry humour in an instant. This should come as no surprise; after all, Sydney Newman did create Adam Adamant Lives!. Newman may not have read the classics, but he did know populist drama better than anyone.

It has often been said, by Barry Letts among others, that the master is Moriarty to the Doctor’s Holmes and while this cannot be disputed, it misses the larger picture. The whole of the UNIT era is an extended pastiche of Sherlock Holmes, with a fair amount of the aforementioned Mister Bond thrown in for good measure. Think about it: the hero is more than content to sit in his laboratory and perform his experiments in peace. He is accompanied by his companion who, although a fully capable person in their own right, is often reduced to asking superfluous questions. The hero is coaxed out of his rooms by a gruff official who drops tantalizing clues to an inexplicable occurrence. The hero and the official are frequently at odds, but have a deep respect for one another. Now where have we seen this before? Turning Sgt. Benton into Mrs. Hudson is however, tea making skills aside, a supposition too far.

And how can we forget “The Talons of Weng Chiang”? We are beaten over the head with the Holmesian imagery by, erm, Robert Holmes but it worth pointing out that the episode isn’t really a Doyle pastiche. At its heart “Talons” is a Yellow Peril story¹. Most of the Sherlock Holmes stories that people are familiar with were written before the true rise of the Yellow Peril in fiction. The only story in the canon to deal with such matters is “The Man with the Twisted Lip” and even then only obliquely. Leaving aside the science fiction elements, the bare facts of the case would not have Holmes racing down to the theatre. He might have mentioned to Lestrade to keep an eye on Li H’sen Chang, but on its surface, it is an uninteresting matter that easily could have been handled by any half-observant detective sergeant. The only real mystery in “Talons” is how they have eluded the authorities for as long as they did. Finally, as every true aficionado knows, the deerstalker was a cap to be worn in the country. No-one would wear one about London like that. Well, no gentleman anyway…

Having now eliminated our improbable truths, we are left with the impossible. Our primary guide for this timeline shall be Doctor Who and its related media; were we to open the floodgates to every Holmes pastiche we would be here all evening. The traditional Holmesian canon will be observed² with two notable additions: Nicholas Meyer’s The West End Horror, which is specifically referred to in The Gallifrey Chronicles; and William S. Baring Gould’s Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street, which informs much of the background to All-Consuming Fire. Neither shall we enter into a discussion on the chronology of the Holmes canon, as debates over that make trying to date the UNIT stories a cakewalk by comparison. A quick word on the matter of existence; for the sake of the following, we shall assume that Sherlock Holmes was a real person in the Doctor Who universe. It is suggested in both All-Consuming Fire and Happy Endings that the names Sherlock Holmes and John H. Watson were mere fabrications by Arthur Conan Doyle (who also exists) to protect the identities of the real men. It does not particularly matter for our purposes and for clarity they shall be referred to by those names with which we are familiar.

1843 All-Consuming Fire

The first Doctor and Susan met Siger Holmes (father, although not yet, of Sherlock) in India. It was a chance meeting, but Siger’s stories of mystic fakirs who could rip holes in the fabric of space intrigued the Doctor. The seventh Doctor, Ace and Benny were also present, observing the meeting at a distance.

1870

The Doctor finished taking a medical degree at the University of Edinburgh, studying under Joseph Bell³. The same year Watson began his studies at the same university. He took both his bachelor of medicine and his baccalaureate of surgery there, graduating in 1876. In his final year he was impressed with the tenacity of freshman Arthur Conan Doyle. He sensed in Doyle a shared spirit and encouraged his writings. Watson left for London, spending time at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital and finishing his doctorate through the University of London in 1878⁴.

1880 Evolution

The bogs of Dartmoor were plagued by a genetically engineered ‘werewolf’ constructed from a Rutan healing salve. Arthur Conan Doyle, in port from the whaler Hope, assisted the fourth Doctor in tracking down the werewolf and prevented its creator from turning more children into ‘mermaids.’ Doyle took inspiration from these events to embellish stories later given to him by Watson and Edward Malone. At some point during these proceedings the Doctor takes Doyle’s stethoscope, which he used in a later incarnation aboard the R101⁵.

At some point prior to 1883 Doyle met with Redvers Fenn-Cooper, who told his tale of a lost world on the African plain full of prehistoric creatures. Doyle laughed at the story and soon afterward Fenn-Cooper disappeared. Feeling some sort of guilt, when Edward Malone later came to him with a similar story of Professor Challenger’s exploits in Argentina, Doyle helped him publish⁶.

1882-1883 Erasing Sherlock

A young Sherlock Holmes has solved the mystery of The Study in Scarlet, but is still struggling to make ends meet. Into this precarious position is thrust Rose Donnelley aka Maria Tory aka Gillian Rose Petra, a time traveler sent to study Holmes by posing as a maid for Mrs. Hudson. Though Holmes quickly determined that all is not as it appeared with their new maid, he was distracted not only by a rash of disappearance in the burgeoning London gay scene, but by his own growing feelings towards Gillian. The whole affair was masterminded by a 21^st century professor, Jimmy Moriarty, and his associate in the 19^th, Thomas Corkle, a psychopath who was responsible for the disappearances. Using technology and ritual practices given to them by the Celestis⁷, or possibly Faction Paradox⁸, Moriarty torments Holmes for no other reason than to see what would happen to the timestream. Holmes and Gillian defeat Corkle and she returns to her native time using a ritual powered in part by the eruption at Krakatoa on August 26th, 1883.

Holmes and Gillian travel to Krakatoa on a ship called the Hope. This is not the same Hope that Doyle traveled on, as that was a whaling vessel that would have never traveled south of the 49^th parallel. There are at least three incarnations of the Doctor that were also present at Krakatoa, the ninth, the tenth, and another earlier incarnation⁹. The crystalline entity eventually known as Mr. Smith was freed during the explosion. It would later come to be integrated into a computer used by Sarah Jane Smith¹⁰.

We are given several elements incongruous with what we know of Holmes, not only from the canon but from other Who books as well. Holmes’ siblings are elder brother Mycroft and a younger, developmentally impaired sister Genevieve. We meet Shinwell Johnson, an informant, twenty years early. In “The Illustrious Client”, he is introduced by Watson thusly, ‘I have not had occasion to mention Shinwell Johnson in these memoirs because I have seldom drawn my cases from the latter phases of my friend’s career. During the first years of the century he became a valuable assistant.’ And there is the matter of Grimsley Roylott. Grimesby“The Adventure of the Speckled Band”. The back cover of Erasing Sherlock states ‘Dr Grimsley Roylott of Stoke Moran arrested in connection with suspicious deaths of his stepdaughters, Julia and Helen Stoner.’ In the story with which we are familiar, Julia does not die, nor is there any evidence against Roylott until Holmes investigates. If we are to assume that Julia dies because Holmes was otherwise occupied on route to Krakatoa, Roylott would still not have been arrested. Nor does this address his bizarre name change. The answers to these conundrums are answered simply, if not satisfactorily. These events take place during a time war. This more than likely isn’t the Great Time War, although the two probably followed in quick succession. It is uncertain how the events have reflected themselves in the main timeline, if at all. The entirety could be contained in a bubble or been wiped out by later incursions into the timeline. Roylott is the antagonist of

1887 All-Consuming Fire

Following the theft of several sensitive books from the Library of St John the Beheaded, Holmes and Watson were called upon by Pope Leo XIII to investigate. Chief among Holmes’ suspects is the seventh Doctor, who quickly attached himself to the investigation. However it was soon apparent that Baron Maupertuis, already suspected by Mycroft Holmes and the Diogenes Club of shady business transactions, was the true malefactor. Before following Maupertuis to India, Holmes learned from his eldest brother Sherringford that the stolen books were their father’s journals, which contain instructions on how fakirs could chant open a gateway to another world. Once in India, Holmes, Watson and the Doctor meet up with Benny who confirms that Maupertuis is building an army to conquer the alien world Ry’leh. Hearing the chant, the Doctor is alarmed to discover that they are actually fighting the Great Old One Azathoth. On Ry’leh Maupertuis’ army are revealed not as conquerors but as a distraction to free Azathoth and her disciples, including Sherringford. The Doctor redirected the chant on the return trip to Earth to land during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, killing Azathoth and Sherringford. Watson chronicled the adventure and shared it with Doyle, but it is never published. Doyle refused to talk directly about his own experience with the Doctor¹¹.

There are numerous references to Holmes’ prior cases which need not concern us here, but the overall date of 1887 is a puzzle. It is implied that the story takes place after “Talons of Weng Chiang”, i.e. the Doctor staying with Professor Litefoot and Holmes’ investigation of The Affair of the Walking Ventriloquist’s Dummy. And yet Talons is dated 1889, or certainly after the Ripper murders. There is nothing to prevent the Doctor from staying with his friend without revealing his true identity, but Holmes’s investigation is still troubling. However, it is never stated in the episode how long Greel was in London nor is there any indication in the novel where Holmes’ case took place.

There are a few other matters of interest as well. The Library of St John the Beheaded contains a copy of Love’s Labours Wonne, which cannot be the precise play that we see in “The Shakespeare Code” as all the copies there were destroyed. It is possible that Shakespeare wrote another play with the same title or another playwright could have written one and it was attributed to the Bard. Obviously some version of the events at the Globe got out and the Catholic Church decided that no matter the actual contents of the play, it would be suppressed. At the beginning of the book, Holmes and Watson share a train with Robert Baden-Powell, whom the Doctor later would meet as part of another adventure with Doyle¹². The Doctor spins a ghastly tale of spontaneous human combustion in front of a bar full of policemen, including Inspector Abberline. The following year, Abberline was put in charge of investigating the Ripper murders of which the seventh Doctor was briefly suspect of and turned out to be committed by the Valeyard¹³. Lord Roxton assists Holmes in India, while Professor Challenger is named as a visitor to The Library. Both these men would later share an adventure with Edward Malone, who published their exploits with Doyle’s help¹⁴. And there is mention made of a Diogenes Club agent, Charles Beauregard. In a parallel universe Beauregard is a key agent for the Diogenes Club, who later battled an entity known as the Cold¹⁵, fought in this universe by the first Doctor¹⁶.

Happy Endings

In autumn of the same year, Holmes and Watson again meet the seventh Doctor and travel to the future to attend the wedding of Bernice Summerfield.

At some point after this time the Doctor first meets Sherlock Holmes from his perspective¹⁷.

1893 The Adventure of the Diogenes Damsel

Many years later for Benny, she landed in London bereft of an operational time ring. She turned to her friend Watson only to fid him unavailable and as Holmes was ‘dead’ at the time, she turned to his brother Mycroft. Together they worked to solve a baffling series of crimes revolving around the number seven. It was revealed that the crimes were committed by a deranged clone of Benny’s old traveling companion, Christopher Cwej to attract the attention of the seventh Doctor. Benny, Mycroft and Lord Straxus, a similarly stranded Time Lord, were able to stop him from killing Oscar Wilde. With Straxus’ assistance, Benny was able to return to her native time.

Mycroft is not quite as Doyle describes him, instead being taller, thinner and fully willing to travel further than his usual orbit. Mycroft explains that Doyle had exaggerated his attributes for dramatic effect to highlight the differences between the Holmes brothers.

1895 The West End Horror

An amnesic eighth Doctor investigated a series of murders connected with the London theatrical scene. It is unclear how far the Doctor came in his investigation as the case was swiftly solved by Holmes and Watson. The case brought Holmes in contact with Oscar Wilde, long time friend of the Doctor and Gilbert and Sullivan, from whom the first Doctor obtained an opera cloak¹⁸.

1897 “Bat Attack! / The Battle of Reading Gaol”

Inspector Lestrade was assisted by the tenth Doctor and Rose in The Case of the Unsuitable Suitor. The details of the case remain undisclosed, save for the identity of the aforementioned suitor, the quite literally two faced Professor Janus. Immediately following this, the Doctor and Rose become entangled in an adventure with Bram Stoker (investigated by Holmes during The West End Horror) and a vampiric version of Oscar Wilde.

1902 Revenge of the Judoon

King Edward VII was abducted by a squad of Judoon looking for an anachronistic plasma coil at Balmoral Castle. The Doctor and Martha arrived just in time to meet the King’s aide, Captain Carruthers, who showed them the plasma coil which was given to him by Arthur Conan Doyle. Martha and Carruthers visited Doyle back in London while the Doctor traced the King. Doyle told them the coil was given to him by a group called the Cosmic Peacekeepers, eventually revealed to be the spearhead of an alien invasion. The Doctor rescued the King, convinced the Judoon to withdraw and destroyed the Peacekeepers’ weapon, but did not re-meet Doyle.

Shortly after this, Doyle’s friend and sometimes collaborator J.M. Barrie was given the idea for Peter Pan by an alien who told him a universally popular fairy tale¹⁹. Whether or not Barrie shared this experience with his friend is a matter of conjecture. Around the same time Doyle’s future friend Harry Houdini taught the Doctor the basics of escapism²⁰.

1920

In the grip of deep depression due to a series of tragedies befalling his family, Doyle was called upon to verify the photos of the Cottingley Fairies. While he believed them to be genuine, they were not verified until 2007 when Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood came into contact with the same group of fairies²¹.

2010 Happy Endings

Holmes and Watson were brought forward from the past to attend the wedding of Bernice Summerfield. While initially overwhelmed by the unfamiliar settings, Holmes recovered and after catching up with modern affairs, he was able to assist Roz Forrester with the Adventure of the Curious Landowner. On the surface, the case was a trifling one; Roz found evidence of an illegal pesticide/genetic agent called Bloom, which in Roz’s future was used as part of the Kilbracken cloning technique. Holmes quickly determined the likely owner of the Bloom as the only farmer in the area with the means to obtain it, Lord Tasham. Confronted, Tasham admitted to buying 30 barrels but only to prevent its use by others. When Tasham went to show his accusers the barrels, they all discovered that they had been stolen. As it transpired, the barrels were taken by the Master in a desperate attempt to clone himself a new body. Neither Holmes not Watson played a major role in the Master’s downfall, that honour going to Ishtar Hutchings, the Brigadier and four copies of the seventh Doctor.

From this point, the Doctor has no more direct contact with Holmes, but there are a few more tantalizing references to Holmes’ ultimate fate. In the 33^rd century, across the former continent, Europa is home to a dark, twisted world of historical and fictional celebrity reconstructions²². While Holmes is not mentioned, it seems inconceivable that he is not among those revived. And along similar lines, Holmes exists in the City of the Saved, a bubble set between the end of this universe and the beginning of the next that contains every human being that ever existed. Not only has the historical Holmes been resurrected, many filmic representations were brought to life using ‘remembrance tanks.’ All these versions of Holmes have gathered together and formed The Great Detective Agency, solving any problem that might arise when you have the entirety of human history in one place at the same time²³.

No other fictional concept has been covered in so much depth in Doctor Who as Holmes. Perhaps that is that is because few other concepts have as much depth themselves. We like Holmes for the same reasons we like the Doctor; at their best they are strong, well defined characters that prefer to use their intellects rather than their fists. They’re smart, they’re clever, and although appreciated by the masses, for their true fans, they are adored. It is no wonder that Holmes and his associates keep reoccurring in the Doctor’s life; the Doctor is peerless in his universe, so he to import one from another.

Bibliography

Baring-Gould, William S. Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street. New York: Bramhall House, 1962.

Barnes, Alan, and John Ross. "Bat Attack!/Battle of Reading Gaol." Doctor Who Adventures #11-12, 2006.

Barnes, Alan. Doctor Who: Storm Warning. Big Finish Productions. 2001.

Cornell, Paul. Happy Endings (Doctor Who: The New Adventures). Berkeley: London Bridge (Mm), 1996.

Cornell, Paul. Timewyrm Revelation (Doctor Who: The New Adventures). Berkeley: London Bridge (Mm), 1991.

Davies, Russell T. "Rose." Doctor Who. BBC. 1995.

Dicks, Terrance. Doctor Who: Revenge of the Judoon. New York: BBC Books, 2008.

Doyle, Arthur Conan and William S. Baring-Gould. The Annotated Sherlock Holmes. New York: Clarkson Potter, 1972.

Doyle, Arthur Conan. The Lost World. New York: Tor Classics, 1997.

Doyle, Arthur Conan, and Leslie S. Klinger. The New Annotated Sherlock Holmes. New York: W.W. Norton, 2005.

Ford, Phil. "The Lost Boy." Sarah Jane Adventures. BBC. 2007.

Hale, Kelly. Faction Paradox: Erasing Sherlock. New York: Mad Norwegian P, 2006.

Hammond, Peter J. "Small Worlds." Torchwood. BBC. 2006.

Holmes, Robert. "Talons of Weng Chiang." Doctor Who. BBC. 1977.

Houghton, Don. "Inferno." Doctor Who. BBC. 1970.

Lane, Andy. All-Consuming Fire (Doctor Who: The New Adventures). Berkeley: London Bridge (Mm), 1994.

Lane, Andy. All-Consuming Fire: Prologue. < http://www.drwhoguide.com/whona27p.htm>. 1994.

Marley, Stephen. Managra (Doctor Who: The Missing Adventures). Berkeley: London Bridge (Mm), 1995.

Meyer, Nicholas. The West End Horror-A Posthumous Memoir of John H. Watson, M.D. Boston: W. W. Norton & Company, 1994.

Morris, Johnny. The Tomorrow Windows (Doctor Who: The Eighth Doctor Adventures). New York: BBC Books, 2004.

Nation, Terry. "The Keys of Marinus." Doctor Who. BBC. 1964.

Newman, Kim. "Cold Snap." The Secret Files of the Diogenes Club. New York: MonkeyBrain Books, 2007.

Newman, Kim. Doctor Who: Time and Relative. London: Telos Publishing, 2002.

Parkin, Lance, and Lars Pearson. AHistory: An Unauthorized History of the Doctor Who Universe (Second Edition). New York: Mad Norwegian Press, 2007.

Parkin, Lance. The Gallifrey Chronicles (Doctor Who: The Eighth Doctor Adventures). New York: BBC Books, 2005.

Peel, John. Evolution (Doctor Who: The Missing Adventures). New York: London Bridge (Mm), 1995.

Perry, Robert, and Mike Tucker. Matrix (Doctor Who: The Past Doctor Adventures). New York: BBC Books, 1998.

Platt, Marc. "Ghost Light." Doctor Who. BBC. 1989.

Purser-Hallard, Philip. Faction Paradox: Of the City of the Saved. New York: Mad Norwegian Press, 2004.

Roberts, Gareth. "The Shakespeare Code." Doctor Who. BBC. 2007.

Sloman, Robert. "Planet of the Spiders." Doctor Who. BBC. 1974.

Smith, Jim. Bernice Summerfield: The Adventure of the Diogenes Damsel. Big Finish Productions. 2008.

Spencer, Si, and John Ross. "Under the Volcano" Doctor Who Adventures #3, 2006.

1 A Yellow Peril story is one in which Asian antagonists are intent on destroying the West. For more information I urge you to check out the work of Jess Nevins. One such article can be found here: http://www.violetbooks.com/yellowperil.html

2 The traditional Sherlock Holmes canon consists of the 56 short stories and the 4 novels written by Doyle. There are perhaps a dozen other works that are sometimes included, but none of them have any bearing on this discussion.

3 Bell was the Royal Physician whenever Queen Victoria was in Scotland. His unusual observational methods were noted by many, including Doyle, who became his assistant and used the experience as background for his stories.

4 “Tooth and Claw”, All-Consuming Fire, Annotated Sherlock Holmes

5 “Storm Warning”

6 “Ghost Light”, The Lost World

7 The Celestis were an offshoot of the Celestial Intervention Agency, who removed themselves from the universe in order to escape a time war.

8 Faction Paradox were an independent organization devoted to wrecking havoc in the timeline during the aforementioned time war.

9 “Rose”, “Under the Volcano”, “Inferno”. The first Doctor is the most likely candidate as he seemed more intent on seeing big events in earth’s history, but we cannot be certain.

10 “The Lost Boy”

11 All Consuming Fire: Prologue

12 Revenge of the Judoon

13 Matrix

14 The Lost World

15 “Cold Snap”

16 Time and Relative

17 Timewyrm: Revelation. The seventh Doctor tells Ace that he’s met Holmes, but precisely when this happens is a matter for speculation. We know from All-Consuming Fire that the third Doctor is a member of the Diogenes Club. It is a reasonable surmise that he and Holmes met while Holmes visited the club. Indeed, as we have seen, given their similarities they might have gotten on like a house on fire.

18 “Keys of Marinus”

19 “The Tomorrow Windows”

20 “Planet of the Spiders”

21 “Small Worlds”

22 Managra

23 Of the City of the Saved

I'm Telling You, it's Going to Turn Into the Next Rocky Horror!

It is your moral imperative as human beings to find someone to watch City of Death with at 2:00 AM, drunkenly reciting lines and screeching like schoolgirls every time Julian Glover appears and says something pithy.

Capsule Review: The Rani Reaps the Whirlwind

I finally obtained this audio after nearly a decade of mild curiosity. I'm fascinated by Pip and Jane Baker. I am. There is a cadence to their dialogue that when delivered well is quite nice. More often then not though, actors have no idea what to make of it. And then there's this.

This was simply bad. All the characters had the same motivation, to survive. But I didn't buy a single one. Much was made, in the world's most clubfooted dialogue that a character was a virgin. For no real payoff. And they just kept going on about it. There was no real reason why The Rani couldn't escape. They basically just told her she couldn't, so she didn't.

And it just kept getting worse....

VERDICT: Toss back into the Void.

And Now Your Starting 11

Oh we Doctor Who fans love our lists, don't we? Why is that? I know of no other fandom that loves to rank things as much as we. First of many lists you'll see here. And what better place to start then favourite Doctors?

1. Sylvester McCoy (Duh)
2. Tom Baker
3. Matt Smith
4. Patrick Troughton
5. Christopher Eccleston
6. William Hartnell
7. Peter Davison
8. Paul McGann
9. David Tennant
10. Colin Baker
11. Jon Pertwee

Now, this doesn't take spin-offs or anything into account. Just what we saw on screen. Not that you can dislike a Doctor. Everyone is brilliant.

Series Fnarg Wrapup

The latest series of Doctor Who has ended. I really liked it. My interest in NuWho had completely waned over the course of the gap year. It rather backfired in that regard. But once I saw The Eleventh Hour I was rehooked. Here are a few things I liked about the past three months. Spoilers ahead. Geronimo!

• Watching The Eleventh Hour with a group of 500 odd people. I have always maintained that Doctor Who is best when watched with others. I was lucky enough to catch a preview showing at Wondercon. Waited in line about two hours and struck up a lovely conversation with a woman with green hair. The air inside the room was electric! And when the Doctor stepped through the hologram...we exploded!
• And The Eleventh Hour itself! I think it's the strongest debut for any Doctor since Spearhead from Space and the best season premier since Rose.
• Bowties are cool. My girlfriend may not be partial to them, but they are.
• Plot being favoured over spectacle. It seemed, especially towards the end, that RTD had his 'iconic moments' in mind and didn't care how the story lined up to get there. Don't get me wrong, there were still some things over the course of this series that made absolutely no sense, but they were fewer and far between.
• Matt Smith! Has playing the Doctor been this absolutely effortless since...I dunno, Tom Baker? He inhabits the character. He isn't an actor, he is the Doctor. Rapidly climbing my personal favourite list...
• Time travel. For a show about it, Doctor Who rarely plays around with it. The Big Bang was verging on Back to the Future territory. And as those are probable the best example of time travel and causality in pop culture, that's not a bad thing at all. Still waiting for the Moff to adapt Continuity Errors, perhaps the greatest Who short story ever.
• The use of colour. RTD was lush. Lots of reds and strong colours. The Moff has gone for a more subdued look, so when something is bright it really pops out. The Daleks, for instance, or the sunflowers in Vincent and the Doctor.
• Alex Kingston has been a delight. I liked River when she first showed up, but now I love her. Gone far beyond the simple smugness of the character in Silence of the Library.
• Being slightly cuckolded by Matt Smith, and no I'm not going to explain that one.
• Rory and Amy's relationship. It could have veered so easily into Rose/Mickey territory. But no. It's a real relationship. Would any other companion's SO stuck around for 2000 years? Clifford Jones? Andred? I don't think so, although I suppose technically Andred could actually do that. As I friend of mine put it, 'No one else would have had the balls.' Rather ironic as his were made of plastic at the time. Of course, now Rory is a companion in his own right. We haven't seen that since Ian and Barbara. 
• Talking to people about the show. A lot of my friends at this point are Doctor Who fans. But I've been talking to more and different people about this series then I ever had in the past. Running up to someone and squeeing at them, 'DIDYOUSEETHISWEEKSEPISODE?' I was in a play this past month. The director was also a big Who fan and we always started rehearsal late on Sundays because we would talk about the show! Wonderful!

Doing Something Hush-Hush at Porton Down

or How Many Secret Services Does Britain Have, Anyway?

Originally appeared in The Terrible Zodin

It used to be so easy, didn’t it?  There was MI-5, MI-6 and UNIT.  Then all manner of splinter groups and hitherto unknown organizations started cropping up in various media, so now we’re left with an insane number of people fighting over the same patch of land.  It’s gotten to the point that you can’t tell the players without a scorecard.  Lucky for you, we have one right here.

    Torchwood was founded in 1870 by Queen Victoria. Their slogan, “If it’s alien it’s ours,” sums up their attitude very neatly.  Its brief was to investigate alien technology for use in the defense of the realm.  It grew rapidly with four teams being set up across Great Britain and several others in colonies around the world.  Until the early 21st century the organization was rife with xenophobia, though this was slowly ended by Captain Jack Harkness, himself a human of non-terrestrial origin.

    If anything, their rival organization, the Forge (or Department C4 as it is officially known), was even more nationalistic and xenophobic.  Given their similar mission statement it seems likely that the Forge is a splinter group of Torchwood.  Precisely when the Forge was founded is a matter of some contention.  It was certainly operational in 1911, although an unsubstantiated report has them active a decade earlier.  Their first major undertaking was the creation of a group of vampire soldiers for use in World War I.  This was stopped the intervention of the Seventh Doctor, although cleaning up rogue vampires remained an operational focus for the Forge in subsequent years.

    Department C19 was founded sometime during the 1950s, although their immediate purpose was uncertain.  They evolved into a repository with a facility called the Vault, similar to America’s Area 51.  The Vault was where they kept things deemed to dangerous for possible use, although this did not stop scientists in C19’s employ from trying.

    The Intrusion Counter-Measures Group was set up in 1961 as an anti-terrorist group, operating alongside the regular armed forces.  The 1963 Shoreditch Incident was their only operation of note, where they successfully contained a Dalek incursion with the help of the Seventh Doctor.  Their commanding officer, Ian “Chunky” Gilmore was swiftly promoted to Air Vice Marshall, the ICMG was disbanded and most of their functions taken over by C19.

    Quite what C19 were during the London Event involving the Great Intelligence is unknown, but a quick thinking Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart soon turned the tide in the Doctor’s favor.  With further information and assistance given to him by Gilmore, he was instrumental in the founding of the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce.  The public were aware of the existence of UNIT to a degree, even if they weren’t certain what they did exactly.  Most cover stories made them sound like INTERPOL [1] , dealing with security and counter-terrorism.

    C19 evolved yet again, this time to be UNIT’s liaison with the British Government.  They set up a medical facility known as the Glasshouse to deal with UNIT soldiers who had been injured or traumatized by what they had witnessed [2] .  The existence of the Vault was kept from UNIT, even as they absconded with technology obtained from UNIT operations.  Events came to a head when they tried to capture technology during a second assault by the Silurians.  This led to UNIT’s discovery of the Vault and its reformation as a more benevolent organization.  The rogue elements of the Vault would join SeneNet, a private company with an eye for abusing and retrofitting alien tech.  Meanwhile, as attention was focused on the Vault, the Master was able to infiltrate Glasshouse for a time and brainwash the patients towards his own twisted purposes.

      With UNIT in nominal control of alien sorties, both the Forge and Torchwood retreated further into the shadows.  Both viewed UNIT with contempt.  It was at this point a schism between Torchwood and the government developed.  Torchwood commanders, never the most stable of individuals, broke off direct ties with the government in a fit of jealousy.

    After Lethbridge-Stewart retired from active duty in 1976, UNIT was at a loss.  The following years would find them fighting off attempts at closure more often than aliens.  It was during the 1980s that the Weird Happenings Organization was created to be Britain’s homegrown answer to UNIT, led by the brother and sister pair of Alistair and Alysande Stuart [3] .  Despite developing the technology that led to the S.S. Valiant, WHO never got off the ground.  Torchwood renewed contacts with the government, but remained a largely independent organization.

    In 1993, Department C19 was shuttered permanently and most personnel were folded into other organizations.  It is likely that the Vault’s artifacts were split between Torchwood and UNIT’s Black Archive.  WHO was combined with elements of Black Air and RCX to form MI-13 and shifted their focus to metahuman affairs.  While UNIT was still active, with Brigadier Bambera taking care of the Carbury Incident, these were still very much the wilderness years.  The regular secret services stepped up to fill the breach.  MI-5 and Deputy Director Harry Sullivan fought off a pair of invasions from the Voracians in 1998-99.  Under Leighton Woodrow, MI:6 ran a few quite illegal operations on British soil, although they successfully managed to clean up the messes they made with the assistance of the Eighth Doctor.

    Out of the ashes of this shuffle emerged the Internal Count-Intelligence Service.  Here at last was an agency with the perfect blend of military precision and jingoistic furor.  They were so highly regarded that in 2004 the government were convinced to disband the UK branch of UNIT and replace them with ICIS.  This attempt was stymied by Lethbridge-Stewart who, upon witnessing the brutality of ICIS personnel, announced UNIT’s true remit to the press.  This did not deter ICIS, who had plans of taking over the country.  After a failed military coup, they framed UNIT for murdering civilians.  Thanks again to Lethbridge-Stewart, ICIS were shut down permanently and all members of the conspiracy were killed or jailed.

    Around this time the primary Forge base along with most of its operatives were destroyed following an attack by the Huldrans and the complacency of the Seventh Doctor.  Deputy Director Nimrod escaped to the beta facility and an offhanded remark found in the Torchwood Archives indicates that they might still be active.

    Following the ICIS affair, the British Government began to take UNIT more seriously.  After Harriet Jones was elected Prime Minister one of her first acts was to dramatically increase the UK’s contribution to UNIT funding.  They were once again at the forefront of the scene and just in time.  The years 2006-2010 saw more alien attacks on British soil than had been seen in thirty years.  And each time they emerged triumphant, if battered.  Torchwood were not nearly so lucky.  The Battle of Canary Wharf wiped out Torchwood One and a series of calamities culminating in the 456 Crisis all but destroyed Torchwood Three.  In 2010, Harkness dissolved the organization.

    Ironically, while successfully fending off closure in the UK countless times, it was the United Nations that finally did UNIT in.  With the eventual rise of the Zone Authority, UNIT was subsumed into an altogether less more and altruistic organization, the United Nations Intelligence Security Yard Corps.  However UNIT’s key ideals managed to survive the centuries and after the Dalek Invasion of 2254, these elements founded both Unitatus and the Knights of Jeneve.  Torchwood also somehow survived into the future.  In the 4100s the Torchwood Archive sponsored an expedition to Krop Tor and in 200,100 they are at least of historical interest as the Great Cobalt Pyramid was built on the ruins of the Torchwood estate.

    The ultimate fate of the other organizations is unknown.

Table One-Government Sponsored Extraterrestrial Investigation Organizations in Britain

Organization    Years Active

Torchwood    1870-2010, ?-?

Secret Intelligence Service (MI-6)    1909-2254(?)

Security Service (MI-5)    1909-2254(?)

Department C4 (The Forge)    1911-2004

Department C19    1950(?)-1993

Intrusion Counter-Measures Group (ICMG)    1961-1964

United Nations Intelligence Taskforce (UNIT)    1968-2020(?)

Weird Happenings Organization (WHO)    1988-1996

Internal Count-Intelligence Service (ICIS)    2001-2004

United Nations Intelligence Security Yard Corps (UNISYC)    1994-2254(?)

Table Two-Commanders of UNIT, UK Branch [4]    Years ActiveBrigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart    1968-1976

  Later UNIT’s special envoy and ‘scientific advisor’.

Colonel Charles Crichton    1976-1989

  Became Deputy Director of the Forge, and then was assassinated by Nimrod.

Brigadier Winifred Bambera    1989-2001

  Left UNIT to join her husband on his quests.

Colonel Ross Brimicomme-Wood    2001-2004

  Arrested after it was revealed he was a double agent for ICIS.

Colonel Emily Chaudry    2004-2006

  Unknown

Colonel Alan Mace    2006-2010

  Unknown, may have transferred to Vancouver.

[1] Indeed, as there is little mention of INTERPOL in Doctor Who, could UNIT have taken over their functions? We do see them provide security for several conferences.

[2] It is tempting to think that some Torchwood officers used it as well, but there is no direct evidence of this.

[3] The strange homophonic connection to the Brigadier has not been explained, but it must be more than a simple coincidence.

[4] This does not include temporary commanders such as Colonel Faraday or Colonel Dalton.

POW is a Technical Expression-A Doctor Who Fan’s Look at Comic-Con 2009

Originally appeared in The Terrible Zodin

I had already decided to go when it was announced that Russell T. Davies, Julie Gardner, Euros Lyn and David Tennant were coming.  This would be David Tennant’s first convention and there was now no way I was going to miss it!  The following is a first hand account of this, dare I say, monumental event.

TUESDAY-21ST JULY    17:45
    We’re about an hour outside San Diego.  We’ve made pretty good time, having set out about 10:00.  I will admit to a certain uneasiness, but I’m not certain why.  I’ve heard all manner of stories, both good and bad about Comic-Con.  I wonder what my experience will be.  We’ve just passed an exit for Swansea.  This must be a sign.  I have too much stuff.  My bags are full already.  Where am I going to put all of my to-be-obtained goodies, eh?  As I was listening to the first of the UNIT audios, a huge military helicopter swung past the car.  It looked like it could have opened fire.  Never before has audio been so realistic.

WEDNESDAY-22ND JULY
    22:00
    Morning spent at SD Air and Space Museum, evening at Comic-Con Preview Night.  Nerds of two worlds and I am the twain.  After snarfing free stuff at the DC and Dark Horse booths, I wander back to Underground Toys, the distributors of Who toys in the US.  I immediately purchase the 2nd and 6th Doctor exclusives Lori wanted and a second 2nd Doctor for me.  I ask if they have a Tom Baker, but they only brought one and it already sold.  One?  The most popular Doctor in America and they only brought one?  I spent the rest of the evening scouring the floor for another to no avail.  I do walk off with a pair of Sarah Jane toys 2 for $15!  Oh, and Colin Baker is over at Alien Entertainment, which is pretty cool.  $25 for an autograph isn’t bad, but I already have one and I’d like to spend money on other things.

THURSDAY-23RD JULY    09:45
    Picked up an amazingly cool Who/Being Human bag from BBCAmerica booth.  They also have a Dalek, which is neat but hardly the “piece of the TARDIS set” they advertised.  Went across the way to the booth for The Prisoner remake.  Was given an ID card for the Village.  My number?  5454.  Somewhere Scott Appel laughs.

    10:15
    Partial success!  They don’t have the single figure, but Underground Toys now has a 4th Doctor Adventure Pack.  No Build-a-K1-Figure for me, I’d rather have Tom!

    11:30
    Everyday I have set goals.  Today I get my Owly book signed by Andy Runton.  Owly is the most heartfelt comic I’ve ever read, a feat made more impressive given not only the sheer number of comics I’ve read, but that there are no words!  Andy signs my book and I see he’s doing sketches of Owly as various characters.  “Are you familiar with Doctor Who?” I ask.  “Am I?!?” Andy turns out to be a big fan.  We chat for nearly forty-five minutes as he sketches Owly as the 4th Doctor, using my newly purchased  figures as reference!  His girlfriend is an even bigger fan having introduced him to the series (!) and she pops by at one point to drop off a flyer for ChicagoTARDIS she’s picked up.  “Can we go?”  “I don’t know.” “But Paul McGann’s going to be there.  Paul!  McGann!”

    18:30
    Nearing the end of the day.  I race from the end of a Charles Vess panel to catch Dave Gibbons at the Dark Horse booth.  While most people have various editions of Watchmen for him to sign, I’ve brought the 5th Doctor epic The Tides of Time.  He chuckles and signs it, posing for a picture too.  I briefly mention our meeting several years before, but there are people waiting behind me and it’s time to leave for the Green Lantern screening…

FRIDAY-24TH JULY    9:05
    This morning finds me in the Neil Gaiman/Coraline panel.  While I’ve arrived in plenty of time, my cohort Melissa is nowhere to be seen.  She sneaks in right before the wire, various calamities having befallen her upon the way.  I have half a mind to ask Neil about the series five rumors, but as soon as question time is announced a throng of people leap up for the line.  Oh well.  Surprisingly, most of the questions are for Henry Selick.  There was a huge cheer at Selick’s suggestion that he make the long gestating Sandman movie.  The phrase, ‘A man can dream,’ comes instantly to mind.

    11:55
    Downstairs, I am determined to meet Roger Langridge.  He is, as I’m sure you all know, the regular letterer for DWM, occasionally illustrating a tale or two along the way.  These days he writes and illustrates The Muppet Show Comic, which is as worthy a spin-off as has ever been made.  Seriously, Jerry Juhl would be pleased.  I am, apparently, the first person to ever have brought him a copy of The Glorious Dead to sign.  I quickly contemplate which Doctor to have him draw, settling on the 8th.  He hadn’t drawn McGann in some time, but was willing to give it a bash.  As much as I love it, I wonder if I should have gotten a Muppet instead.  Maybe next year…

SATURDAY-25TH JULY    13:45
    Morning spent in Chuck/Family Guy/Futurama panels.  By the time I get to the BBCAmerica booth, they have run out of bags again.  There is, however, a lovely woman dressed as Romana.  She is tickled pink that I know who she is.

SUNDAY-26TH JULY    8:30
    And now the Whorgasm begins.  Coming up to the convention center, I complain to my friend Helen that you can either stand in line for the panel or stand in line for the RTD autograph session raffle, but not both.  Before I can finish my sentence, she volunteers to go to the raffle, as she wasn’t doing anything.  I thank her profusely and head upstairs.

    8:45
   In line.  A few people in costume.  I’m earlier than I was yesterday for Chuck, but the line is still fairly long.  At least I know at this point I am getting in!  I chat with various people, including someone who bought their ticket on eBay two days ago, specifically for this panel!

    9:20
    Helen texts me.  She got an autograph ticket.  Huzzah!  Helen, I love you.

    9:30
    And like that, we begin the slog to get in.

    10:05
    By the time this will be read, there will be a hundred of detailed reports of this panel on the web.  All of the answers will be posted, all the rumors confirmed or quashed, all the spoilers spoilt.  So there doesn’t seem much point in capturing every little thing, but I will say this.  Sometimes it seems fandom is so divisive.  People arguing over favorite stories, RTD’s gay agenda, and just what the title of “Mission to the Unknown” is.  Here in this hall there are 4,000 people who love Doctor Who.  Love Doctor Who.  Old fans, new fans, girl fans, boy fans, everyone is united for this one hour.  It’s amazing and I have rarely felt its like before.  Must stop before I turn out as inane as the commentator in “Fear Her”…Oh look, there’s my Romana from yesterday!

    11:15
    A quick meet up with Helen to get my ticket.  I stand in line, fairly close to the front.  Yea!  Someone next to me begins to slag off Sylvester McCoy; it takes all my self restraint not to sock him in the jaw.  I merely point out that all of the character building with which the new series is so fond began with Ace and that “Ghost Light” is as good as Doctor Who has ever been.  He shut up pretty damn quick.  So much for all that love I was talking about.

    11:55
    RTD, Julie Gardner and Euros Lyn are here five minutes early!  I will not be a fanboy, I will not be a fanboy…

    12:10
    I have them sign my copy of Aliens and Enemies, because I was going to have people draw aliens in my sketchbook.  Well, that didn’t happen.  I find out how to say Euros’ name, and tell RTD that The Writer’s Tale is the best book on writing I’ve ever read, which is absolutely true.  He’s very flattered and tells me that the paperback comes out in January and has an additional 300 pages.  Geez, as if you couldn’t bludgeon someone with it before…

    12:20
    Bizarrely, stupidly some might say, IDW has scheduled their signing for their Doctor Who comics at the same time as the RTD signing.  But because I was so far ahead in line, I pop down there with no problems.  I have Rick Johnston and Eric J sign Room with a Déjà Vu and Tony Lee and Kelley Yates (good name for a Who artist) sign The Forgotten.  As I’ve been taking pictures I tell people to say “Jelly Babies” instead of the standard “Cheese.”  Rick and Tony are very amused at the idea that not only does someone want to take their picture, they have to say Jelly Babies.  At least they know what they are!

    13:00
    Running around looking for last minute cheap Who toys.  BBCAmerica has Donna and the Ood on sale.  Yoink!  By the by, how awesome would a band called Donna and the Ood be?  Just missed out on a $5 Zygon.  Damn.  Reoccurring lesson of the con, if you see something you want, buy it.  It won’t be there next time.

    16:00
    Walked out of the most inept panel I’ve ever seen.  “Full-time Creative Work on a Part-time Schedule” sounded more interesting than it actually was.  Helen and I duck into the Torchwood panel for what turns out to be the last question.  And it’s about La Cage Aux Follies.  Whee.  Oh well.  Here endeth the Con!